i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I AM VODKA MAN
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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