he was CRYING into my vagina
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
