i'm signing you up for texting rehab
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
