Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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