Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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