some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize