If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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