Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize