apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
