BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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