We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize