Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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