I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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