end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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