I'm jealous of your bromance
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
