I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
