Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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