Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Everything about him screamed your future.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
