this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
