it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
