My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So squirting runs in the family.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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