look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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