i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize