you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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