id be glad to
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
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