i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
