you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
