She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
