I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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