Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I understand Curling. That high.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
