Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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