Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
