at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
