At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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