how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
