Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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