Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
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A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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