This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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