i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
