I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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