apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
