We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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