are you still at the devil's house?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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