Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
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