Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
