I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
