how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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