You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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