so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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