oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
