she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
