I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You're a waste of cheezeits
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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