dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Enjoy the penises
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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