I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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