'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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