So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
