just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
